Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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