After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
