ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
