i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
