Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
