remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
