and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize