oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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