check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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