Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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