Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
