escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
