"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
