Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
