I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
