I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
