it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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