I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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