I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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