You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
