I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
