I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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