omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
