He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
