I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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