She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
