I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
