My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
