He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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