i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
