i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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