i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
