i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
