I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
