yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
