Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
