Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
