when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am mentally ready for anal.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
