I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
