Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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