Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
