I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
