He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
