I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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