okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
