I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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