In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
