honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
