Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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