can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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