dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
